   Thumbs Down to Raspberry JamI hate everything about raspberry jam. The taste, the texture, the color, the smell, the lumps, and most of all -- its attitude.Let’s start with its taste. First of all, real raspberries don’t taste like that at all. I bet the inventor of raspberry jam was drunk the night he created it. One time I ate a raspberry hard candy and I got a headache afterwards. Even my friend Bridget says there is a moldy jar of raspberry jam in the back of her refrigerator because no wants to eat it. The color. Am I not getting something? It's brown, but it’s purple, yet it’s maroon. I don’t like mind games. It should either be one color or another. The smell. Go to your refrigerator right now and pull out the invader from hell and smell it. Don’t tell me your body doesn’t shrivel from repulse to its stench. The horrible little lumps provide an unheard of sensation that is unforgettable in my mind. Hey, you don’t need my word for it. Take a piece of bread out right now. Plop a bunch of globby raspberry guts on to it and you’ll know what I mean. And then there is the spelling. Shouldn’t it be razberry? No its got to be difficult- it couldn’t just make sense. We got to interrupt the word by putting a P right in the middle of it. Then there is its attitude. No, I’m not going to even get into that right now. I just get too angry. (say hi to bethany, email cybermad@execpc.com attn:bethy) |  |