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somehow we orders ourselves a floral bouquet from FTD and a year's subscription to 'Sassy.'

the guys
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the guys

the guys (aka: the Buy One Get One Freemen)
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the Dawg and Eddie are in their 7th year at the University of Wisconsin - Madison. Their majors are undeclared.


the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues the issues
We've gone and changed our names to the Buy One Get One Freemen. Here, fools, read our manifesto:

1. We CAN take soda and food on the bus, especially greeezee burritos from Taco Bell.
2. We CAN smoke on the bus (you receive a gold star if ya light up a big fat cigar).
3. We CAN step past the yellow line and distract the bus driver. We like to shower him with tickles.
4. We CAN take pets on the bus, including Eddie's stinky monkey Bobo.
5. We CAN sit anywhere we want on the bus. It is time the elderly and handicapped fend for themselves.
6. We CAN play music on the bus. Dave just picked up 'Queen's Greatest Hits,' so watch out as we will, we will, rock you!
7. We CAN take off our shoes on the bus and give each other foot massages (and no, this doesn't mean we're gay, we're "just friends").
8. We CAN, CAN, CAN present the musical 'You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown' on the bus. Tickets go on sale the 15th, call Eddie's mom at 608-555-4392. Performances will be on the A-Line to East Towne Mall, leaving the Square at 1:15, 3:52 and 5:13. Performances will be cancelled if they call the pigs on us again.

Hootie and the Blowfish: We're broke, so we can only afford to buy the 'Super Saver' tapes at K-Mart. Mr. Hootie will have to wait a few years as his career fades and he gets placed next to Journey and Def Leppard in the discount bin before we can listen to him. We just know one thing-- his band's name is numero uno pervo (that's Italian for "Very Pervy").... Summer Jobs: With summer coming up and having wasted our student loan refund checks on Ding-Dongs and a limited edition very rare Boba Fett action figure, it is time to get 'el jobos.' (no translation required, unless you're an unedgicated knucklehead). If only we could get paid to sit in our parent's basement, play D&D, drink Coke and eat 'Za like we did when we were 15. Those were the days. It sucks when ya peak in junior high. But maybe we could get a job like BJ and the Bear or Starksy and Hutch. Action! Suspense! A cool car or semi! We'd show that evil Sheriff Lobo a thing or two. Censorship on the Internet: We got this way cool Apple IIE (aka: The Super 'Puter), no hard drive, and we play Asteroids off of 5 1/2 floppies. Man, if they ever take that freedom away from us, we'd, ummm, go to the mall and play Asteroids- that'd show 'em. But we've only 'cruised' (see, we know the hip lingo) the "Net" once. Dave's dad has on AOL account at work. On 'Bring Your Son To Work Day' we dicked around on AOL when his dad was at meetings. We looked hard, but we couldn't find anything raunchy, except somehow we ordered ourselves a floral bouquet from FTD and a year's subscription to 'Sassy.' 'Bring Your Son To Work Day' is coming up again, so if you know where we can find good nudie pix-- TELL US! By the way, we've also rented 'The Net' tons of times -- wowie Sandra Bullock is hot. If they ever censor that flick, we'd umm, go and rent 'Speed.' ....