MEET ENIK (AKA: THE "SMART" SLEESTAK FROM THE FUTURE)

Since the Sleestak race can't speak, Enik, the "smart" Sleestak from the future, is here today to represent the Sleestak Party

Q. What's it like to be a sleestak?
A. Actually, I am not a sleestak. I am Enik, the Altrusian.
Q. So, what's it like coming back to the past to see your unintelligible race?
A. Umm, the sleestak are not my ancestors, but devolved descendants of my own people who failed to control their hate and anger. It's kinda confusing, but I'm from the past and, they are, lemme see, ahh, I think they're kinda like, umm, kind like, ohhh, never mind.
Q. If the sleestaks can't control their hate and anger, why should they be elected president?
A. Two words: Bob Dole.
Q. Why do they hate Cha-Ka?
A. Except for that troublesome Holly Marshall who "enjoys" playing "Hungry Hungry Hippo" with the marbles from my pylon, that annoying little ape child is the 2nd most obnoxious creature hatched upon this hopeless planet.
Q. What's the sleestak stand on foreign policy?
A. Carry a bow and arrow and hiss loudly.
Q. Bob Dole says the sleestaks are soft on crime.
A. Silly. Remember when Will took that strawberry from Dopey? Who wanted to crush Will's spine? The sleestaks! Who wanted to drink his blood? The sleestaks! Who wanted to turn him into Will-burgers? The sleestaks!
Q. And did they?
A. Curses, no. The sleestaks are just too bloody slow.
Q. What is the main reason the sleestaks want to reside in the White House? Do they truly want to build a pylon to the 21st century?
A. Well, honestly, the Lost City is just really stinkin' cold. And all that mist is terrible for their sinuses. A new environment would do them wonders. In addition, they want to continue the Jacqueline Kennedy tradition of preserving the treasures of the White House.
Q. What's the biggest misconception about the sleestaks?
A. That their Harvard education separates them from the common man. Hogwash! They're just like you and me. Every morning they put on their pants one leg at a time ---
Q. Hey, wait a sec, they don't wear pants.
A. Umm, huh? Ahhh, I gotta go -- they pylon gate is about to close...Everything is breaking up -- can hardly hear you --***