Washington D.C. - Chaos ensued at tonight's debate as Bob Dole and "Sleestak" stepped up to their podiums for a technical rehearsal. Suddenly, lil' Cha-Ka, a Pakuni native, ran through the auditorium. Acting upon instinct, "Sleestak" grabbed his bow and arrow and began to hiss. As the confused Dole mumbled incoherently, "Sleestak" slowly chased after the annoying monkey child.
After waiting two hours and no reappearance from "Sleestak," officials finally cancelled the debate. Dole commented "What do you expect from a liberal lizard bozo?"
Since this fiasco, here are the most recent numbers from the polls: